While consent is a defining element, I believe there is a deeper aspect found in a submissive’s need to feed and satisfy a dominant’s need. The mutual getting off on it enables a particular balance that makes the whole thing click. A masochist who’s just in it for themselves may be a nice diversion on occasion, but I don’t view that as attractive beyond the casual. Nor do I see a pure submissive who is unable or unwilling to match my sadism as overly appealing, though I might otherwise enjoy their devotion. At this stage in my own exploration, it definitely takes a very particular balance in order for me to view the big picture as sustainable.